How to Blah

This is how you Blah:

Background information,

Blahing is when people just are awesome and can't stop being that way... So after they followed my instructions, they were permanently awesome, exept if they don't follow a couple rules. So, if you are a stupid person, and want to be cool, or a nerd that is looking for an opportunity to be awesome, this thing is just for you!

Blahing has become more popular in the 21st century, but it has been traced to go back around mid 7th century BCE, used by Romans and Greeks. People use blahing for meditational calming affect or a way to fit in. If you are stressed or under pressure turn to blahing for help. To be a blah expert, follow these simple steps...

Step 1: Take a Blah Selfie

Simply take a selfie of yourself saying 'blah'.

If you do not know what a selfie is, then you are unfixible. You are unable to become cool. Sorry! BTW, if you don't know what that means, and you are over the age of 8, just stop here, to avoid loss of conciousness, or sickness of any kind. Sorry! But your health is important...

For better results, your selfie should have a bird in it somewhere, it can be fake or real, it doesn't really matter.

Step 2: Draw Blah!

Do an artsy pic of 'BLAH' written out. It has to be colored to some degree. This is an ancient Roman technique. Overall, it helps people to calm down when on a sugar rush or with too much adrenaline. Try it out!

If this step is too hard for you, just skip it... But this guide envolves many crazy steps, so BEWARE...

Step 3: Draw Blah, But With the Help of an Android Device

Ok. I used a phone. I also have an app that allows to get really fun and poppy results! Anywho, it is a obligatory step in the process of being awesome. In later days, once you have completed this guide of Awesomeness, you will have to repeat this step every Saturday at 6:09 PM on the dot. This will fight off the nerdiness, and preserve the awesomeness...

Remember though. If you forget to do this, for three Saturdays in a row, you will become a nerd, not for a day, but for eternity and beyond. So if you forget, remember one thing, it was all your fault.

Step 4: $ Money $

For this step, you will need to be somewhat cute, and really convincing. You will have to walk around and ask for money. Beware, if some adult asks you what you are doing, just say "It is for blah!", and walk away. Just for kicks, and maybe more cash, tilt your head a little and beg them for it. DO NOT ACT LIKE A DOG OF ANY SORT! it will diminish your chances of becoming as awesome as me. If your adult does not accept this, just keep asking them, and they will surrender. I know, I know, many people are not that nice, and cool. So, if your person is really stubborn, just make up some excuse, or throw in some white lies. No actual lies. Many people thing that being Awesome, means that you can ditch all of the rules of something. Well, if you are that person, then you are wrong, Really wrong. Remember blahing is a form of meditating, no stress, no stress...

Step 5: Jump Around

This will help with your inner blah. Jumping is amazing. If you are disabled or can not jump for some reason, please feel free to skip this step. Ok. To jump, bend your legs, and push off the ground. If you were well tought to walk and run, jumping would have came naturally.

Step 6: You Are Now an Inner Blah Master.

In order to fully understand the meaning of inner Blah, you need to meditate. I mean seriously. Meditate. Cross your legs and meditate, for well, let's say at least 10 minutes. This will unleash you inner Blah. To let it come out even faster, think of a beautiful place as shown on the picture. We start to do this every Sunday at 9:43 AM because that is the time that is not painful. So now that you've done this, you are crowned:

INNER BLAH MASTER

That does not mean that you have completely became a Blah Master. But you are a somewhat successful apprentice. Now, do 15 jumping jacks to congratulate yourself.

Step 7: Run Around to Congratulate Yourself Again.

This will allow you to be cool. Being Blah, does not mean sitting on a couch watching TV, and eating potato chips. It requires some effort. We like to run around in our 31,000 square foot home. But you can run around wherever.

This is not the end of the training apprentice. You shall now experience OUTER BLAH!!!

Mwa ha ha ha ha ha... This was not an evil laugh, don't freak out...

Step 8: Travel to Chiberia in the Winter.

• Chiberia is a common name for Chicago, in the winter. If we were you, we would pack coats, and more coats, and thermal stuff, or you will freeze, and die. This will show the world that you are awesome. (BTW, if you haven't been to Chicago, the temperatures in the winter can drop to below -30*F (that's cold!)). But Chicago is the perfect place to go after unlocking your inner Blah. In the comments, please post pictures of your visit. We will tell you if you are a trustworthy member of Blah.

Step 9: THE FINAL STEP

Say this tongue twister at the speed of light: Blah buys blue Blueberries By Berry's Broccoli, Birds's Bears.

Then say this (each "a" is pronounced for a second): I love 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