Introduction: How to Peel an Apple, the Manly Way.

About: Everywhere I go, there I am.
The Problem.

Fatherhood brings with it a multitude of difficult choices and dilemmas that one must face. Take for instance, apple sauce. My daughter adores applesauce. Besides boobies, applesauce is her favorite thing ever. This seemlingly innocuous substance causes me a great deal of distress. In order to make applesauce, one must PEEL the apples before cooking them. I find peeling apples to be a rather dreary and monotonous exercise. You may find yourself asking the question. "If you are so lazy, then why don't you just buy it?". The answer to that excellent question is that I am too cheap and too crunchy to allow someone else to cook my daughters food. Commercial applesauce is expensive AND contains preservatives and processed sugar, both are things that I will not feed my daughter.

Using the revolutionary iPowerPeeler 3000 TM(Patent pending) you can peel a 5 lb bagof apples in about 2 minutes. You can make a whole boat load of applesauce quickly and cheaply! 


All you need is:
  • a 3/8"-3/4" spade bit
  • a drill
  • an apple
  • a vegetable peeler.
a 3/8"-3/4" spade bit
a drill
an apple (or a bag of apples)
a vegetable peeler.


Don't skewer your hand when spearing the apple.  You should grasp the apple in such a way that if the spade bit comes all the way through the apple, it won't stab your hand. The video doesn't show it, but a fair amount of juice sprays off the apple as you peel it. Unless you want to annoy your wife, be sure to wipe down the cupboards and countertops when you are done. If you lose a finger, cut yourself, stub your toe or otherwise make yourself cry don't blame me, blame yourself for not using common sense.