Introduction: Simple, Deadly Nachos...

About: A Northern Ireland based maker with a propensity to cause trouble and freshly constructed family.
Let me preface this excerpt from my ordeal by explaining I thought of this while eating a pack of cookies, I blame them having 25% less fat than usual. 

God this is tasty, really good but the plate is heavy in my hand, not heavy like sunday dinner heavy, heavy like whole chicken heavy...

I'm sort of intimidated. I decided to use a spork, it's the utensil I'd be least embarassed dying with in my hand. Futurama as watching material, though I may need a few episodes...

Eight minutes, about a quarter way, the sheer density is brutal, though the mixtures of flavours is insane...

I am flummoxed and loving the touches of philly, they're like little cooling oases (is that the plural of oasis?) in this desert of meat, cheese and crisps oh and pasta... The ham really comes through!

Gah I think I have nacho dementia!

Usually that parmesan like taste of cheap mac and cheese would be overpowering, here it just blends in to the miasma of corn and chilli, it's very beefy and not that spicy, should not have but any lard in the cheese sauce, maybe used plain nachos and it needs way more philly to emulate sour cream... Or sour cream. Water is no help, coffee helps taste wise but no thirst help. I need beer. I need it to survive this ordeal.

Or maybe a smoke break to let my stomach compress the current bolus of thinly veiled nutritional suicide.

At this point I switched to videoing... 

In general don't eat this unless you hate yourself, everything included is meant for 2-4 people. The total damage, between 3300 and 3500 calories, I was a little heavy handed with the lard (had no butter for the cheese sauce) and use sour cream, no amount of cream cheese can take the salty dryness away from this. Salsa would be amazing here... Ok I realise adding more food to it seems foolish, however the problem isn't the amount, it's the taste and density of it all...

*Update, I followed a few linkbacks and in more than one place I've given my country and my eating habits a bad name... I do know  what normal nachos are, this wasn't ever going to be normal nachos... 

Step 1: Ingredients

Uh yeah... 

 - A big can of chili 
 - A big bag of nachos
 - A pack of mac and cheese
 - some cream cheese 
 - A fundamental disregard for your health

Step 2: Starting

Cook the mac and cheese up. 

While it's cooking preheat the oven to 200C

Put a thick base of nachos in a baking tray. 

Oh rearrange the oven shelves to fit, this is really tall... 

Step 3: Layering Up

Begin with a base of chilli - don't heat the chilli first, the canned chilli cold makes a brilliant mortar for the nachos. 

It'll settle and lower with heat. 

Basically the formula is simple. 

Mac and cheese
Mac and cheese at the top

I garnished with cream cheese, I'm not sure why I did that in retrospect. It helps though... 

If you have salsa, well actually if you have the wit to add salsa do, it'll make it way more palatable. 

Step 4: Cooking

I did fifteen minutes at 200C

When I checked it looked edible, but I went for another five minutes. 

Step 5: Plating Up

I managed to get the spatula under the pile. 

Lifting didn't work, my spatula just started to bend... 

Instead I tipped the whole lot up and used the spatula to direct the avalanche of stuff and patted it in to a large and surprisingly jiggly mound. 

I should've known when I lifted it out of the oven by how heavy it was but once it was on a plate and piled up it started to look a lot more threatening. 

Step 6: Epilogue.

A while later. 

I feel pretty good, though this is the longest I've been full since christmas and that was more from continuous eating and drinking. 

Would I do this again? 

Yes, a million times yes, though salsa and veg, peppers and juicy tomatoes. 

I'm surprised though, calorifically it weighs in much healthier than a trip to the kebab shop (Heavily loaded doner on chips with cheese and house sauce + half pound kebab burger, they're awesome, two quarter pounders with a bunch of kebab meat on top...

However this leaves you way more full...