The Shy Person's Guide to Making Friends
Intro: The Shy Person's Guide to Making Friends
Are you a shy person? Do you become a wall flower when you go to parties? Does the thought of walking up to complete strangers scare you silly? Do you have a hard time making friends? Well, there's no need to feel scared anymore! Here are a few great tips to help you climb out of your shell and start making friends today!
Smile!
People have a habit of naturally gravitating towards someone who looks friendly – that's just the way we humans are. So make it a point to smile at everyone you see. It doesn't have to be a wild toothy grin – you can keep it to a friendly, polite smile that is inviting to anyone and everyone.
Some shy people will find it hard to smile all the time. It's okay – new habits take time to stick. Take your time, smile when you remember, and don't beat yourself when you forget. If you have to, put a smiley face on the back of your hand or someplace easy to see to remind you of your new resolution to smile more.
Talk to People
Make it a point to talk to people around you. This can be really, really hard for the uber-shy but just remember this - there are at least a hundred friendship opportunities a week that you are missing out on by hiding behind your shyness. It's time to step out of your shell and start talking to others.
For example, strike up a conversation with the woman standing next to you at the bus stop. Point out an item someone has in their grocery store basket. Stop and talk to the neighbor walking her dog. If it's a woman, compliment them on their dress, shoes, purse, or makeup.
Whatever you do, do it proud and with a smile. Most people understand if you act nervous when greeting someone you don't know. As you talk, things will become more comfortable and natural – you just have to get through the first few minutes.
Get Involved
Joining local clubs, signing up for classes, or attending networking meetings and professional organizations are some of the easiest ways to meet new people. If you're not sure about organizations available in your area, check out the local paper or city/county website or do a Google search.
Facebook "Friend" People You Meet
Facebook has become a major influence in our lives. It's how families and friends communicate these days…and it can become you way to feel out the "friendship waters" with a coworker or neighbor. If you know their full name, you can send a friend request and - wham! – you have a great platform for introducing your real self to them.
Invite Prospective Fiends To Do Something
Once you've found someone you like and think could be a possible friend, take the initiative and invite your new acquaintance out for coffee or maybe for a walk at a local park.
Now, I know what you're thinking – "I have to ask someone to coffee? Noooo!" This is one of those times when you really need to smack down that shyness monster deep inside of you and bravely step out into the unknown. Without this call to action, you will never have a chance to explore the possibility of a friendship with that person.
Accept Invitations
As a shy person, you're first inclination to an invitation is probably to decline it, especially if you don't know that person well. You'll have to get dressed and go out and deal with this unknown person and who knows if it'll be worth all of that trouble. Wrong, wrong, wrong!
You should accept invitations when they are presented to you. Why turn down a free chance to go out with people that you know? Once you have a slew of friends, you can always decline invitations on your bad nights…but until then, suck it up and go! You'll have fun, I promise!
Keep In Touch
Make it a point to stay in contact with those people that you consider a friend. Email or call them periodically and send them a birthday and Christmas card. Even instant or text messaging is considering "contact" these days. These periodic check-ins will not only remind them that you're alive and thinking about them but also help your friendship to grow naturally.
The frequency of these contacts depends on the friend and type of friendship. Some will wonder if you hate them if you don't contact them every week while other friends will go months on end without any contact and be fine. sunil bhardwaj This is something you can feel out as your friendship begins.
Relax
This is key to finding a friend or two. If you can't relax and be yourself, you're going to give off vibes that will send people scurrying away from you. Learning to be comfortable in your own skin while around people will take some time but as you get more practice, things will fall into place and soon you'll be chatting up a storm, happy to be around your dear friends.
Smile!
People have a habit of naturally gravitating towards someone who looks friendly – that's just the way we humans are. So make it a point to smile at everyone you see. It doesn't have to be a wild toothy grin – you can keep it to a friendly, polite smile that is inviting to anyone and everyone.
Some shy people will find it hard to smile all the time. It's okay – new habits take time to stick. Take your time, smile when you remember, and don't beat yourself when you forget. If you have to, put a smiley face on the back of your hand or someplace easy to see to remind you of your new resolution to smile more.
Talk to People
Make it a point to talk to people around you. This can be really, really hard for the uber-shy but just remember this - there are at least a hundred friendship opportunities a week that you are missing out on by hiding behind your shyness. It's time to step out of your shell and start talking to others.
For example, strike up a conversation with the woman standing next to you at the bus stop. Point out an item someone has in their grocery store basket. Stop and talk to the neighbor walking her dog. If it's a woman, compliment them on their dress, shoes, purse, or makeup.
Whatever you do, do it proud and with a smile. Most people understand if you act nervous when greeting someone you don't know. As you talk, things will become more comfortable and natural – you just have to get through the first few minutes.
Get Involved
Joining local clubs, signing up for classes, or attending networking meetings and professional organizations are some of the easiest ways to meet new people. If you're not sure about organizations available in your area, check out the local paper or city/county website or do a Google search.
Facebook "Friend" People You Meet
Facebook has become a major influence in our lives. It's how families and friends communicate these days…and it can become you way to feel out the "friendship waters" with a coworker or neighbor. If you know their full name, you can send a friend request and - wham! – you have a great platform for introducing your real self to them.
Invite Prospective Fiends To Do Something
Once you've found someone you like and think could be a possible friend, take the initiative and invite your new acquaintance out for coffee or maybe for a walk at a local park.
Now, I know what you're thinking – "I have to ask someone to coffee? Noooo!" This is one of those times when you really need to smack down that shyness monster deep inside of you and bravely step out into the unknown. Without this call to action, you will never have a chance to explore the possibility of a friendship with that person.
Accept Invitations
As a shy person, you're first inclination to an invitation is probably to decline it, especially if you don't know that person well. You'll have to get dressed and go out and deal with this unknown person and who knows if it'll be worth all of that trouble. Wrong, wrong, wrong!
You should accept invitations when they are presented to you. Why turn down a free chance to go out with people that you know? Once you have a slew of friends, you can always decline invitations on your bad nights…but until then, suck it up and go! You'll have fun, I promise!
Keep In Touch
Make it a point to stay in contact with those people that you consider a friend. Email or call them periodically and send them a birthday and Christmas card. Even instant or text messaging is considering "contact" these days. These periodic check-ins will not only remind them that you're alive and thinking about them but also help your friendship to grow naturally.
The frequency of these contacts depends on the friend and type of friendship. Some will wonder if you hate them if you don't contact them every week while other friends will go months on end without any contact and be fine. sunil bhardwaj This is something you can feel out as your friendship begins.
Relax
This is key to finding a friend or two. If you can't relax and be yourself, you're going to give off vibes that will send people scurrying away from you. Learning to be comfortable in your own skin while around people will take some time but as you get more practice, things will fall into place and soon you'll be chatting up a storm, happy to be around your dear friends.
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Chikpea 10 years ago