Introduction: True Lies

About: This is Kalimov. Come from Macao and base in Shanghai now. People may think I'm a weird person. Well, one of my motto is below. Hope for hopeless, and hopelessness for hope. Creative comes from it.

Hey guys! This is my virgin instructable on this site. Though it is over April Fool's Day, I still hope you'll like it.

(Nothing involves with invincible Arnold, just for the title.)

Who says that you cannot tell truth on 1st of April?

Well, people may say that the truth would not be trust on such a day. So why not use this to fool back those who insist unbelieving? This guide is base on psychological thinking. Honestly, it's about how to set a plot in paper or oral works.

Step 1: Theory

Let me introduce this in logic formula.

Not True = False

Not False = True

True And True = True

True And False = False

False And False = False

Among the left side, suppose the truth as true, and the lie as false. On the right side, believable as true and unbelievable as false.

Why ordinary lies can't set someone up? Let me explain.

On 1st April (false, the environmental factor) the lies (false) are unbelievable (False).

When people don't believe in lies, the plot fails.

However, if people don't believe in the truth? Here's another explaination.

The truths (true) on 1st April (false) are also unbelievable (false).

That's it! We are going to set some tricks that if someone consist on his attitude of unbelieving. He believes, nothing happens, it's a beautiful day. He doesn't believe, well, also a nice day, with (maybe terrible) humors.

Step 2: Preparation

You need:

  • A well-trained emotion. Without doubt, it will be a great laughing stock if you laugh when you are plotting on someone.
  • Modified information you are going to tell. It doesn't mean that you are going to just tell an ordinary truth or facts. Review the first two lines of the theories. You claim a fact in a negative way like this, 'I'm sure that your truck haven't been stolen.'
  • A sincere face. You tell the information to your victims once and once again by begging him or her to believe, even though they tell you, 'Yes, I get it..' Thus give the victims a signal like this, 'God, he is a good man. God damn it, on the April Fool's Day my buddy tries an unusual way to make me know about the bad news. I got to check it.' Strongly suggest to keep a poker face if you feel guilty of making a sincere look.
  • Optional: typed letters, seals, email boxes, etc. Don't leave any personal messages that may lead to you. This option would be a disaster. Of course, a damned fun. Ho ho ho......

Step 3: Check Out (Level Beginner to Moderate)


A. Enthusiastic neighborhood

I: Believe me, I hadn't seen any burglar inside your home when I went to work.

Someone in the phone: WTF, thanks man!

(Actually I was not sure if her daughter was in or not. Otherwise I would say, 'I didn't see a guy on Emily's bed.')

B. Sales off

I: Patrick, you don't need to go that mall as the discount is over!

Patrick: Haha, thanks. (He then rushed out.)

(This one was quite simple and harmless. The only loss was poor Patrick's time and taxi fare.)

C. Who gets the Golden Apple

I: It's so sweet, try the last one. (In fact, it was. I just wanted to eat all without sharing.)

Daisy: Go hell, Kalimov. It must be a sour orange!

(Thanks, Daisy.)

D. No porn

Paste a banner outside a door and it says, 'Don't ask how much is a night. I'm clean.' Be sure that there is a doorbell.

Remember to put lots of condoms below. Used or unused are all okay.

Step 4: Check Out (Level Liar or Terrorist)

These below are dangerous but with much fun if you set the plot and know the result.

A. Positive advertising

If you suspect a canteen that might use wasted cooking oil, try this.

In a midnight, you paste hundred of sheets near its door. 'We promise that we do not use wasted oil in cooking. Eating safe. All food is fresh.' Do it with masks and gloves.

B. Boss, we love this company

On 1st April, a typed letter is put on CEO's desk (or use an unnamed email box). It says, 'We, all your beloved employer, hereinafter, decide to stay in your company as the benefit is good.'

Try to gaze at the CEO. Proceed with caution.

C. War declaration

Still on 1st April and in a company. The boss would receive a forged official letter. It says, 'We decide not to buy your company's share. By your opponent.'

By the way, it's better not to use in your own company but on another two.

D. Friend or foe

Well, I'm not an American and this act is quite guilty for U.S. and the tax by the citizens. I swear I haven't try it before.

Use FEDEX or DHL to send a package or a mail. Label it must be handled on 1st April to J. Edgar Hoover Building in D.C., or somewhere called 'No Such Agency'. It says, 'Dear agents, we decide to have a day off in NY, or LA.'

May the agents forgive me.

Step 5: Risks

Seems there would be no trouble if we proceed these, expect Level Liar or Terrorist.

In fact, risk always exists.

Most victims would label you as a freak. But it's not the serious one.

Think about it. If your 'true lie' is actually a lie, that Emily was with a beard, muscular guy rolling in bed. Well, I would be a genuine liar.

Actually there was really a sales off and Patrick did harvest much......

Daisy ate the last orange I really wanted to have, or the orange was sour......

If the canteen really used wasted cooking oil and no one went there because of my advertising, it's a good news. And that's why I had to wear a mask and gloves. I don't want myself be soup someday.

At last, there is a chance, there must be a challenge. Have fun!

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