Veggies, the other white meat? WTF, these are so tempting that you might want to deal with seitan. Better yet, try firm tofu or any other sturdy vegetable in season.

Got non-vegan friends? Serve them this alternative.

Step 1: Vegan, Really...

Why miss out on all the Fn fun when you are vegan?

This is a vegan recipe.

You need:

A firm eggplant - some people can tell the "gender' whether it will have a lot of seeds or not

Batter or tempura:
Cornstarch, flour, water

Pre-cooked spaghetti or noodles(eggless)

Breadcrumbs(egg and dairy product free)

Seasonings

Canola or peanut oil for frying

CAUTION: Learn how to cook safely. Sharp things are sharp, hot things are hot.

Step 2: No Eggs in Eggplant...

Slice off the skin of the eggplant. It can be tough although it is edible. You may have seen it cut zebra-striped to retain some of the fiber. You may need to use a knife. A vegetable peeler will have a tough time digging into the skin.

Cut into 1/2 to 3/4 inch thick slices.

Cut each of the slices in half to get two semicircle sections.

When the sections are stood upright, you have the profile of a mouse. You can further refine the shape by sculpting the pointy nose by cutting away some of the eggplant.

At this point, you can season and salt your eggplant. People do salt to draw out some extra moisture but I do not find it really necessary to add too much salt.

Take a good paring knife and slice down partway on the back rounded half of a semicircle when it is positioned upright.

This creates a slit to put in a piece of spaghetti for the tail.

The spaghetti strand will wedge in place on the back of the mouse.

Step 3: A Coat of Many Crumbs...

There are many ways to do a breaded coating.

I mixed some seasonings (salt, pepper, garlic powder, paprika) with some cornstarch and flour.

You can add other stuff to the "glue"

For the liquid you can use water, carbonated water, your favorite soft drink or alcoholic beverage.

Make the batter a little on the thick side to give it a nice coating and some shape.

Pressing in on the sides to hold the spaghetti strand, grab the mouse by the top portion and dip into the batter.

Pull it out and dredge gently in the breadcrumbs. Push the breadcrumbs on top to evenly coat.

Put aside to set up for about ten minutes.

Step 4: Splish Splash...

Get a cauldron of hot oil piping hot.

It should be around 350 degrees F or so.

Gently place the meeses in the hot oil. Give them plenty of room.

Fry to a nice golden brown.

Gently remove from the hot oil with tongs or wooden spoon and place on paper towels to drain excess oil.

The tails are still fragile till they cool and harden up a bit.