How to Polish Your Shoes Like an Absolute Psycho




Introduction: How to Polish Your Shoes Like an Absolute Psycho

About: A Northern Ireland based maker with a propensity to cause trouble and freshly constructed family.

Now I take great care of my boots, because I was an army cadet, an air cadets and I wear boots to death, it's a quirk on the upside I can run faster than most people in my boots and barefoot (on the beach for example) I my stride gains a foot and a bit...

But and this is a big but, I get bored while polishing them and so at some point I acquired an electric shoe polisher but it's not much fun and it's definitely not got enough power, no I need much more than four C cells buffing my boots and the flaming parade gloss just isn't all that cool or fun, you just end up with melted shoe polish burnt into your skin, enter the bored jackalope...

Step 1: Get Bored, Feel the Need to Polish Your Shoes, Fast...

So after deciding to polish my boots I passed one of the things in the picture, it's just a soft cotton attachment for that shoe polisher... It's a good thing in itself and it leaves a nice shine but it's just not good enough. So for all of three seconds I brainstormed... Bang it hit much like you'd expect, a 600 watt drill is downstairs, with hammer action for when the going gets tough, it has lots of power we drill holes in the house with that surely it would be enough to polish my shoes... But how do I get a small plastic buffer wheel on to the end.

I went to the toolbox but my hopes were dashed at the first hurdle because the hexagonal screwdriver fittings were too small, I considered taking a hacksaw to an allen key, again not great then I spied the thing in the first picture, thats a 1/8 inch adapter for small socketsto use with your screwdriver, due to the ball bearing it fits tight... I have a plan already...

Step 2: My Plan Failed Completely

For half a second it all went well, then the buffer wheel became a flying, fuzzy coaster of death, it escaped the socket bit and started pinging around the room for a bit.

So back to the drawing board? Hell no I figured hot glue could fix it so I cut a small lump off a glue stick and stuck it in the hole, I took out my recently repaired jet lighter and heated the end of the socket bit up enough to melt the glue and shoved it in. A few minutes later it was stuck solid...

Step 3: Dead Reckoning... Kinda, a Bit

I apologize for the poor video quality, I'm still on the old baby canon A60 and it's crap at video, though the effect is immediately noticeable and a high shine is around 30 seconds away. I was sad about the sound on the video because that drill is a true doom bringing old jobbie that does your knees in then steal your eardrums... Watch the boots and you can see them become shinier and light reflecting off them

The video is a bit of a let down but it's really fun to do this, but I found it a bit messy, tiny flecks of polish now dot the cupboard in an obvious pattern.

Step 4: Enjoy Your Polishing Capabilities.

Now I know it's not a big project or something but I just reduced what could be up to an hour of hard graft to mere seconds, and that was two layers on and polished in under a minute... The shine is really even and they somehow look blacker than when you bull them.



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    41 Discussions

    Ingenious! I wish you had made this back when I was in Civil Air Patrol.

    You should avoid parade gloss as it contains paraffin which will never give you a truly quality shine. Try to find the original Kiwi Plain black polish. High wax content and the only polish allowed on the boots of Her Majesty's Brigade of Guards.

    5 replies

    i use normal kiwi black polish for mine- with a layer of kiwi parade gloss every 5-10 layers. it works well.

    I know this but parade gloss was all I had for the video I use the kiwi plain black on the top but the parade gloss makes a good seal against cracking, also with this idea it gets the black mirror effect any way, so plain black could be giving flawless reflections...

    bdl is right -- original Kiwi is the only way to go. A heat gun has always had the best results for me to shine my non-poromeric low quarters (and, until the US Army phased in the ACU, boots as well) followed by tedious spit-shining with cotton balls. I once made the mistake of using a parade gloss base coat. Plain Kiwi will not polish over it at all (using heat), and I had to scrape down to the bare leather with a knife to start over again.

    use the heat gun to drive the paraffin out if you make that mistake, I used it for illustration, I actually use kiwi original...

    I only use parade gloss prestige and my boots are way shinier than urs ican see myself smiling in them.....................  :)

    very good post!, just one question- does it have the potenional to fully bull your boot? or just a general shine?

    1 reply

    i used to put a good thick coat of kiwi on there, then use a lighter to melt it all, then rub it in a little, and melt it again, then use a rag to rub it in one more time, and then use a buffer tip on my dremel like you did. that was a pretty good system. it didn't really matter though, cuz i would always mess up my perfectly spitshined boots 15 minutes after i put them on anyways... if you want 15 minutes of immaculate shine though, floor wax is the best thing, a couple coats of that and your boots will blind people, but it doesn't bend so it cracks after a little while... i have never seen a shortcut create as good of results as spending hours with a rag swirling away in little tiny circles bringing the boot to a high gloss...

    3 replies

    ya, but burnshining a little tricky to do, most people i've seen try it, including myself, end up burning the leather, or not melting the polish enough, and the floor wax trick only ever works once, it ruins the polish. buffing with a drill is ok, but nothing can beat a few months of hard work and spitshining, my old parade boots still have a shine and i havn't touched them in years

    Yep... floor wax.... just a dipped cotton ball and add a few coats, moving the cotton ball in long, one way strokes (you get less bubbles that way) Boots shine like glass immediately!

    I pulled a polishing cloth over the buffer bit I created, did some high speed spit shining, now i have that look in a few minutes...