(This instructable is dedicated to my fellow brother Rodrigo, who starts a new life today; and to all the people who thinks Valentine's Day - and its Colombian equivalent: Love and Friendship Day in september- is the worst nightmare in the year)

Valentine's Day: flowers, chocolates, cards, love is everywhere. All the couples kissing and hugging and saying tiny lovely silly things. Edward and Bella Forever And Ever!

Well, I think I'm a very romantic guy. But, unluckely, almost all the Valentine's Days and Love and Friendship Days catch me alone, brokenhearted and without money. My ugly ex-girlfriend is now with a "Brazilian Male Top Model", my roommate married with the love of her life (Hooray!), my friends are in love (or without love but not looking), and it seems like every pretty woman is married or has a boyfriend...

But, before I could make my annual ritual of listen "It must have been love" of Roxette and, armed with a big reserve of ice cream, see "Love actually" and curse the fate, the opportunity knocks and I have a first date. A blind date. In Valentine´s Day. And she wants a gift (A GIFT? WTF?) And a special one. I'm so excited. What is the emoticon for "sarcasm"?

I don't have money, but I have trash in my workshop. So, I can make something that lasts more than flowers and chocolates and maybe, could be in my date's desk. And who knows? Maybe she will give it to her new boyfriend (maybe another Brazilian) when she becomes my ex.

Step 1: I Got a Trash on You!!!

First, remember sensei Adam and master Jamie, and be ready for the loose engineering. What is that? Be flexible. Use the things you have near, in unconventinal ways. I love ecodesign, and I store a big amount of plastic trash. I suggest these materials because I have the stuff in my workshop. But if you don't have a damaged motion sensor and a cup, use broken toys, damaged houseware, computer pieces, etc. In the end of this instructable, I will suggest alternative ideas.

MATERIALS:

Note: I'm a Spanish speaker. So, I'll try the best to name the stuff in an understandable way for all.

2 Oven knobs
4 iron pieces for picture frame
2 small iron angles
1 plastic cup
1 damaged motion sensor (you know, the one for automatically turno on the lights)
2 alligator clips
2 big blinking LEDs
2 resistors 220 ohm (red red brown gold) (optional)
1 switch
1 AA Battery box
2 AA Batteries
2 Joystick vents (or any vent, like the used in the darts of toy guns)
Cable
50 cm of copper wire
thin rubber hose for covering the copper wire
screws and nuts
tin soldering

TOOLS
soldering iron
tweezers
screwdivers
scalpel
pliers
And our always trustable Dremel Rotary Tool (Hmmmm... I will collect money for the publicity)

Step 2: These Knobs Are Made for Walking

First, we will make the legs. It's simple: Drill the knob and attach two iron pieces on either side of the knob's handle, using and screw and a nut. In the extreme, attach an iron angle. Make it double. You know, two legs.

Step 3: Un Robot Muy Macho, Caray!!!

Disassemble the motion sensor. We will need only the housing. It has one hole, then we will use it for fit the switch. Now, open holes on either side of the sensor's center. We will attach the legs angles, using screws and nuts. What's the idea? Imagine the switch will be the... robot's "twinky". Well, not imagine. It will be.

WHAT???? A girl makes bondage cuffs for Valentine's (and she's my heroine!). What's the problem with a Valentine's robot with a "willy"? MY ROBOT IS A MACHO!!!

Bend the legs for an estable stand up position.

Step 4: My Arms Keep Missing You

Now, the arms. Drill two holes, one in every side of the body. If you want, use the vents like reference, and drill. Introduce the copper wire in a side, and take out for the other. String the vents in each side, and later, the rubber hose. Remove the plastic cobering of the wire, bend and insert the alligator clips.

Step 5: Head, Electrics and Yadda Yadda Yadda...

Make two holes in the plastic cup, and insert the leds. Make them fit. The head will keep the electric part and the battery box.

Well, It's not easy to explain electronics when you aren't an electronics expert. So, I made a graphic to explain what do you have to do. It's simple, only use soldering and remember: red wire and long leg of the LED must be conected to the positive pole of the battery box, black wire and short leg of the LED must be in the negative. The switch activates the lights.

Drill the top of the head and the center of the upper side of the body, and fit a screw. It will be te neck and fix the head to the body.

SUGESTION: DON'T make easy for your date to find out how to change the batteries. Two reasons:
1. When batteries discharge, she won't know hoy to change them. Then, she will need you to keep working her gift. And you'll have the chance to see her again.
2. When your date becomes your girlfriend, and later becomes your ex-girlfriend, she won't know how to change the batteries. And the "Brazilian Male Top Model" that she will have as new boyfriend, neither. So, you will still look like the smart one. Or maybe not. It's silly.

Step 6: I HATE VALENTINE'S DAY...

Well, the Oblivion's Fruit is almost finished. Only needs a heart, to fit with this phoney celebration, and impress my future ex-girlfriend.

I made the heart with a red poker chip, cutting and shaping with the Dremel.

And, why the pose of the hands? Well, the message to the girl is clear: "You want my heart, right? Then, first you have to turn me on... CRASH!"

WARNING: Instructables.com and Mario Caicedo Langer don't make responsibles if your date crashes the robot against your head. Sorry.

I hate Valentine's Day. If I win the chocolates, they will be only mine. I won't share with anybody!!!

Step 7: ... But Valentine's Day Is Only One Day of the Year. the Sun Will Shine Tomorrow!!

Yeah!! And maybe, you'll find a great and beautiful woman. The perfect one who will kick your ex-girlfriend's ass. And you will rent and see "Twilight" (as Charlie Sheen says: "Love is not blind, but retarded"), and give chocolates and flowers, and it will be sunshine and puppies!! The choosen and special one will arrive, not in February 14, but maybe in February 19. Maybe she'll be from Medellín. Maybe, it will be a magic night. And maybe, the next Valentine's day won't catch you alone.

Now, you know the basics. Use your imagination and make your Not Valentine's Robot with the stuff in the trash. Paint it, make a heart with a beautiful message, use a salt shaker as body and yo-yo halfs as feet. The power is yours!

Happy Anti-Valentine's Day to all the lonely, rancorous and resentful people!!