Okay, so you want chips (fries for all you people across the pond who don’t know what chips are, proper ones, not those piddly french fries you think are chips!) but the chippy’s closed because of lockdown and the ones that are open will get your chips to you in 4 hours and 98 minutes.

This won’t do, you want chips now! Well, let’s make them, you don’t need a fryer, and these chips? Hell, these chips are better than chippy chips! Let’s get chipping!

Supplies

Potatoes... obviously.

Water... for boiling, do not drink the water, we need it.

Salt and pepper... best freshly ground but use what you’ve got. (Optional, but why would you not?!)

Olive oil (I guess you could use less posh oil, but meh, it won’t taste the same)

Hob and oven

Large pan

Large baking tray(s)

Step 1: Turn on the Oven

I’m using a fan oven at 200˚C. For you weirdos who use ancient black magic instead of science, Alexa tells me that’s 392˚F.

Step 2: Cut Those Chips!

Cut those potatoes into whatever shape you think chips are supposed to be. I’m using a chipper here, but if you don’t have one of those, there’s this thing called a knife I’ve heard of the cool kids using, I’m sure you’ll figure it out!

Some people like to peel their potatoes first. These people are mistaken.

Step 3: Boil Them!

Boil them on the stove for a few minutes. Oh, you want a number? Er... I don’t know, 3 to 5 minutes? Depends on the thickness and how you like them. Aim for partly cooked but not enough that you’d eat them like this... because they’re meant to be chips... not boiled potatoes.

Step 4: Drain Them

However you drain stuff, drain it. Strainer, sieve, pan lid, whatever, get that water gone!

Step 5: Put Them Back in the Pot!

I know right? You just took them out of there! Nope, put them back in, this is the important part.

Step 6: Oil, Salt and Pepper!

Just smother those things in salt and pepper and drizzle with olive oil. No I don’t know how much oil, we just want them oily, but not swimming in the stuff!

Salt and oil is not particularly healthy, but you’re making chips here, not a damn salad! You want a salad? Go find another instructable, I’m not making a salad.

Step 7: Mix!

Grab your favourite spoon and mix it all together. The great thing here, is this makes them a bit fluffy, meaning you get tasty crispy bits once they’re cooked.

Step 8: Bung ‘em on the Tray(s)

Just scatter them about on the tray(s), try not to get them too close to each other or you’ll just end up with one giant crispy potato slice (delicious, I know, but we’re making chips here).

Step 9: Shove Them in the Oven

What? You wanted a photo of a clean oven? You’re welcome to come and clean it.

Cook them in there for 25 minutes.

Step 10: Wash Up While You Wait...

25 minutes takes forever when you’re hungry, you can make two of those minutes vanish by cleaning up the mess you’ve made so far.

Step 11: Chips!

Take those chips out the oven, it’s time to eat!

You don’t even need to season them, because we already did that! Unless you didn’t, in which case, you’re a bad person.

Why not try thicker chips, thinner chips, wedge shaped chips, sweet potato chips, chips with paprika on them, chips with herbs on them, whatever way you can think of to destroy perfectly good chips, you go ahead and try them, let us know how it goes.