Introduction: DIY Her Royal Highness Honey Facial Cleanser (apitherapy Is Cray-cray?)

About: Bad @$$ beauty foodie serving up DIY pretty. I live for weekends, breakfast and vodka, not necessarily in that order.

Hey Gwynnie, we need to talk. We just opened your latest GOOP newsletter, and while we loved reading all about your $50 jars of honey and the joys of royal jelly, we’ve got to tell you — we’re starting to think you’ve got a problem…Can we maybe rein it in a little bit and focus on some beauty treatments that are a little less cray-cray?  
~ Refinery29

After reading that post, I browsed Gwynneth Paltrow’s GOOP. This issue focuses on apitherapy, the practice of using bee products like honey, manuka, propolis and royal jelly to address health and beauty ailments. Yes, there were some $50 jars of honey mentioned and other products that only Gwynnie and her pals can afford, but there is some good info about all of the good stuff our bee friends provide for us.

I was so inspired by the newsletter in fact, that I decided to revisit royal jelly, produced by worker bees and eaten by the Queen Bee. I normally use it when my tresses need some TLC. Why had I not thought about using it on my skin? Here’s what I concocted:

Her Royal Highness Honey Facial Cleanser

  • 4 tablespoons of raw honey; antibacterial, antimicrobial, moisturizing, brightens hyperpigmentation and discoloration caused by acne and other skin ailments.
  • 1 tablespoon of royal jelly; contains 134 nutrients including vitamins A, C, D, E, B-1, B-2, B-5 (pantothenic acid), B-6, B-7 (biotin), B-9 (folic acid), 17 amino acids (building blocks of protein),inositol; has antioxidant and antibiotic properties—avoid if pregnant, nursing or othewise allergic to bees.
I’ve been washing my face with raw honey for about 2 weeks and am already seeing some brightening of old acne scars. The royal jelly has added a softness that makes me wish I had read Gwynnie’s GOOP sooner. But wait, it gets better—how about royal jelly also treats acne from the inside out by helping to regulate and balance all of our girly hormones. Yep, I’ll be adding a bit to my green smoothies and see how it stands up to the ebbs and flows caused by My Stress and Aunt Flo. Royal jelly can be purchased at health food markets, vitamin shops, or online.

So yeah, Gwynnie and her bee venom may sound cray-cray to most, but does it really sound crazier than this?

Ingredients: Water, cetyl alcohol, propylene glycol, sodium lauryl sulfate, stearyl alcohol, methylparaben, propylparaben, butylparaben.

(That’s from Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser, by the way). Or have we gotten so comfortable using and consuming stuff born in a beaker that natural (and easily pronounced) remedies used for hundreds upon hundreds of years get the side-eye?

It brings to mind The Lorax and the inhabitants of Thneedville, so caught up in the mindless consumption of Thneeds, bottled air and other hyped up and processed stuff that the very notion of planting a tree to provide real oxygen seems preposterous.

This thing is a Thneed. A Thneed’s a Fine-Something-That-All-People-Need!
It’s a shirt.  It’s a sock.  It’s a glove.  It’s a hat. But it has OTHER uses.  Yes, far beyond that.
You can use it for carpets.  For pillows!  For sheets! Or curtains!  Or covers for bicycle seats! ~ Dr. Seuss.

Great movie, by the way. Sigh.