Introduction: Easy Shrimp Stir-Fry

DISCLAIMER: The following recipe is intensely delicious and may contain trace amounts of humor. You have been warned. Proceed at your own caution.

Step 1: Get It Together!

You will need
10+ Precooked Jumbo Shrimp (Approx. 1 cup)
1/4 Medium Sized White Onion
2 Celery Stalks
3 Tablespoons Soy Sauce
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon Onion Powder
1 teaspoon Salt
1 teaspoon Ground Black Pepper
1/2 teaspoon Cayenne Pepper

The cayenne pepper is a must for some, and a must NOT for others, so pay attention to how much heat you like in your food to adjust appropriately.

Step 2: Out of the Fridge, Into the Frying Pan

Lightly oil a medium sized pan, placing it on low heat and gradually raising the temperature to hot. (Heating oil slowly prevents scorching of oil, and consequently, the food.)
Chop the onion and celery into semi-uniform pieces, and toss them in the pan, stirring occasionally.

Step 3: Sugar and Spice...

Mix the black pepper, garlic, onion powder, salt, an cayenne together to make a very basic Cajun-y spice.

Step 4: It's the Journey, Not the Destination, That Counts

Nestle the shrimp between the celery and onions like you would the shell of an egg. Without care and forcefully. Who cares about eggshells?
Enjoy the sizzle of succulent seafood, even if you aren't at a seaside shop that sells seafood. Sprinkle the seasoning you spun up over the shrimp. Enjoy the scent of the spices and the sautéed stuff in your pan.
(^best read out loud)

Step 5: SSSSSMOKING! -Jim Carrey

Hopefully, your pan won't be doing the name of this step, which is smoking. Smoking is horrible for your health and for your taste buds.
Once the shrimp is browned, stir a few times and turn off the heat.

Step 6: Enjoy!

Serve on a mattress of rice, and enjoy!

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