Introduction: Fight Back: Return Unwanted Junk Mail
Every day that we check our mailboxes, we have to pick out all kinds of junk mail so that we can get to our real mail.
Did you ever tear a bill in half because it was stuck to some kind of free offer?
Are you tired of the complete waste of paper and resources that junk offers produce?
Can you not get a loan to save your life, but you're pre-approved for some double-uranium card with half a million dollars in credit?
It's such a bother and I can't stand it, so here's what I do to calm my nerves and get a little revenge.
Step 1: Pick Out the Junk
Pick out all the junk from your mail and open all the envelopes up.
What you're looking for is those "Business Reply Mail" envelopes with the paid return postage. Put these envelopes to the side.
Se that little "Postage will be paid by addressee" part? That's what you're looking for.
Step 2: The Fun Begins
Now, the businesses that send you the unwanted junk have to pay to get those envelopes back. It doesn't cost them anything if we just throw them out. What they want is for you to fill out whatever forms so you can receive whatever it is they have to offer.
But, you don't have to mail the offers back. You can send them whatever you want, and once it arrives, they have to pay for it!
Today I sent out a load of sticky candy bar wrappers. I hope they like it!
Step 3: Mail It Off!
Send their envelope back with whatever goodies you decide to enclose and wait for the next batch of junk mail to come!
Step 4: Don't Be Stupid.
Don't be stupid.
It's fun to send them back candy wrappers or a booger stuck to an index card, but don't do anything that can get you in trouble or hurt someone else.
So, as a precaution, I'd advise you all to stay away from anything powdery, anything sharp and anything that can get people sick. It's all fun and games until somebody gets hurt.
Step 5: Summary
Junk mail is a waste of time and a waste of resources. And it's fun to have a little joke at their expense. Maybe if enough people do it, they will get the point.