Introduction: How to Make a Beard Forest

About: I'm a 41 year old theatrical designer and educator. I have boundless curiosity, chimerical aesthetic, and Sisyphean perseverance. The results of my whimsical adventures can be found here and on my instagram.

Over two years ago I had thought that started out as a seed and eventually grew into a mighty beard forest. I was once a clean shaven youth who was prone to jaunts into ridiculous facial hair be it Franz Joseph or a Yosemite Sam styled beard. The problem is for some reason no matter how crazy your facial hair is people take it very seriously. Something about a joke that takes six months to grow...

Well one day I was checking my email and saw an instructables staff pick for a how to make a fairy house. I was inspired I could make a fairy house in my beard. However after consulting with some witches it turns out that fairies aren't that nice. I wasn't sure I wanted to invite them into my beard anymore. However I still wanted to do something tiny and ridiculous with my facial hair and so began two years of growing out my beard to have a big enough beard for a whole forest. If you have an hour to kill, already have a big beard, and want to your very own beard forest(maybe a little forest in your hair if you lack a beard) come with me and see how to make a home for tiny lumberjacks on your face!

Step 1: Tools and Supplies

To make your own beard forest you'll need the following

Tools

  • Helping hands
  • Coins(or other spacers)

Materials

  • Super Glue (Cyanoacrylate glue)
  • Cyanoacrylate glue accelerator (we do only have an hour afterall)
  • Small Scale Model Railroad trees and scenery
  • Bobby pins

Step 2: Attaching Roots to Your Beard Trees

With all the materials gathered. It was time to attach the bobby pins to the trees so I could plant them in my beard. To do this I placed a coin in the bobby pin and used the helping hands to hold the tree and pin in the correct orientation. The trees are parallel to the bobby pin for beard use or perpendicularly form the bobby pin for use in hair. If you have more time on your hands you can let the glue dry on its own or you can do what I did and speed it up with a spritz of the accelerator. Because we are in a hurry I made a 20 second time lapse of the whole gluing process. Once you have the trees all glued up and are sure the glue is dry it is time to plant your beard forest.

Step 3: Plant Your Tree Forest and Bask in the Absurdity of What You've Done

I loosely braided my the lower part of my beard to make sure the upper beard hair would be fertile ground for my little trees. Next I looked into a hunk of mirrored acrylic left over from my recent shop stereo project and carefully planted my trees and placed my lumberjack's trailer. It was time to take some ridiculous photos for posterity so future generations can bask in the absurdity of the beard forest. Thanks for taking the time to check out my beard forest. I hope you got a kick out of it. I know I did. If you decide to have your own hair based diorama I'd love to see the end results. Happy making.

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