Introduction: Kentucky Fried WTF on a Stick

Everything tastes like chicken. Even chicken fried steak tastes like chicken.
If you are lucky, You as the consumer, might find this cook's treat in your bucket. So What's That Fried thing?

Read on to see how we make this delectable morsel. In Original recipe or Extra Crispy.

Disclaimer: The author does not advise, relish or condone the preparation and consumption of mystery meat, but as TV foodie Andrew Zimmern says, "If it looks good, eat it."

and yeah, might I tempt you with some finger food and assorted tapas?

Gee, I hope the People Eating Tasty Animals don't start Fn commenting.

Bonus Menu Item! For a limited time only!
I have a three month PRO membership coupon from being featured. For the first person that can post in the comments section a picture of them having created a "KFC double down sandwich" made with this instructable, I will pass on to him/her the 3 month PRO membership. Half the fun is convincing mom or dad to help. I figure that might make you happy as you recover in the emergency room after eating it.

UPDATE: And now there is the little morsel: Jalapeno Chili Pepper Screamers, check it out!

UPDATE - and 7 years later Chicken Fried Chicken, not like Cracker Barrel restaurant, ok, maybe a little...

KFC is a registered trademark of a mega-corporation. Don't mess with the Colonel.

Step 1: Mystery Meat

Pick your roadkill protein source.  I think dinner was going to be pork tenderloin cutlets in a mushroom marsala sauce but It seemed to take a different turn.  If you are from Arkansas, skip this instructable and just head straight to the supper table.

You can use anything you have handy in the fridge.  Chicken, beef, alligator, bison, ostrich, rattlesnake, firm fish, kangaroo, quail, possum, squirrel, firm tofu, etc. will work.   You can even repurpose those chicken fingers in the freezer. Using SPAM would just be gross.

This recipe also requires:

pretzels in thin stick form

a few strands of cooked spaghetti

bamboo skewers for serving

for the breading:

egg beaten with a little water or milk


breadcrumbs, you can also substitute cracker meal or crushed corn flake cereal or crushed corn or potato chips

fried chicken seasoning, your own rub or just salt/pepper, garlic and paprika, etc.

stuff for deep fat frying
   you might be able to get away with oven-frying, haven't tried it

Step 2: Sticks and Bones

Cut chunks of meat in a slightly triangular shape about 2 inches long.

Press flat to about 1/2 to 3/4 inch thickness.

With a sharp knife, cut 2 slits down each side of each piece to form the appendages for the arms and legs.

You can trim the head part to be more pointy.

Insert a pretzel stick all the way through to form the eyes.

Using a chopstick or one tine of a fork, pierce a hole into the meat where the pretzel "bone" will go.  Insert the pretzel into the meat.  Break off the excess to form a stubby arm or leg.

This brand of pretzel sticks is more fragile than other snack brands.  Don't use too much force to insert the pretzel stick.  Just enlarge the hole if needed.

Step 3: Pin the Tail on The...

Pierce a hole in the bottom of the "animal".

Insert a short strand of spaghetti.

Trim as needed.

Step 4: Breading

Handle the "animal" with care.  The tail can fall out or you may break its bones.

You can use any classic recipe to bread the beast.

Season well with salt and pepper.

You can also season the flour.

Dust it all in flour.

Submerge it in the egg wash.

Gently coat all over with egg wash and then to the breadcrumb tank.

Gently coat all over with the breadcrumbs.

Use your fingers to add more egg wash and breadcrumbs to the tail joint for extra coating.

Step 5: Because I Am the Greatest Fry Chef...

I would normally break out my super-fryer but it takes 4 quarts for an oil change, I'll just make this on the stovetop with a small skillet of oil.

If you are not an experienced fry-chef like Spongebob, be careful when doing deep-oil frying.

Hot oil is extremely hot!
Any liquid will vaporize and spatter hot oil that can burn.
Be prepared when things go awry in event of smoke, fire, or explosion.

Being nekkid when deep-fat frying is generally not a good idea.

Preheat the oil until it gets to about 350-375 degrees F.

I am using canola oil.  High smoking point and non-hydrogenated, may be the only thing in this recipe good for you.

If you dip the tail in the oil and it starts to bubble, the oil should be hot enough.

Gently slide the beast into the hot oil.  Do not drop it in or splash the oil.

Depending on how deep the oil is, you may need to turn the beast over midway through cooking when it has browned on one side.  It may take about 10 minutes of frying.

Make sure the food is cooked totally through.  You may have to cut one open to see if you are not an experienced cook.

Step 6: Yum, Yum...

When cooked through, remove from the hot oil and drain excess oil on paper towels or a clean brown paper bag.

Skewer through each piece horizontally or vertically.

There you have it, Kentucky Fried WTF on a stick.

It looks so Fn good to eat.

Hmmm, recommended serving size is - whatever you can hold down?

I haven't figured out what wine to pair this with nor a nice side dish to go with this but probably beer and a good slaw would suffice.

Now that's some durn good eats!
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