The Haiku. Short. Beautiful. Meaningful. But just not nerdy enough for pi day.

Nope. March 14th, 3/14, is like geek thanksgiving. It comes with pi pie and everything now! And starting this very moment, with your help, Pi day is about to get its own genre of poetry!

Who's with me???

If the answer is YOU, then push up those glasses and grab your inhaler because we've got some work to do!

Step 1: Understand the Basics of Haiku.

Haiku is the genre of poetry that we will be defacing in our creation of this new movement of geek art. Wait a second... Art Geeko anyone??? Man. Pi day is the best.

Anyway, back to Haiku. Hit Wikipedia for a deeper explanation, but essentially haiku is a form of poetry consisting of three lines. The first line has five syllables. The second line has seven syllables. The third line has five syllables. Hence;

Haiku is so old.
But math is even older.
Math needs an art form.

Get it? Three lines. 5-7-5.

Ok, Haiku is almost certainly more than just a syllabic formation. For example, the classic theme of haiku is nature. But haiku is not our concern here. Our concern is Piku!

(Pronunciation key-- pi-koo. Get it?)

Step 2: On to Piku!

Prepare thyself, World. Meet Piku!

The essence of our new art, stemming from the first three digits of the greatest number the month of March has ever known-- 3.14.

A three line poem. First line, three syllables. Second line, one syllable. Third line, four syllables. And the nerdier the better.

Three one four.
Pi.
The best number.

That Newton.
Bonk.
What a story.

Poetry.
New.
Revolution.

Piku!!

See how that works?

Step 3: A Categorization System.

Art is so subjective. But not Piku! Here at the genesis of this glorious blending of art and math, I propose a clear and definitive categorization system for all Pikus henceforth brought into the world.

In honor of Pi, all Pikus shall fall into one of three categories. Category 3, Category 1, and Category 4.

Category 3-- one requirement--any poem meeting the basic structural requirements of piku. This is the lowest class of piku, but still worthy of appreciation.

Category 1-- two requirements--a poem that is both piku in structure and nerdy or geeky in subject matter. This is the middle class of piku.

Category 4-- three requirements-- a poem that is piku in structure, nerdy or geeky in subject matter, and specifically related to the fields of science or technology. This is the highest class of piku. The stuff that piku dreams are made of.

With the help of these three categories, may the universe of piku flourish with creativity while maintaining the scientific imperative of categorization! And remember, these categories denote only complexity, not superiority. Its a category, not a grade.

Examples--

Category 3-- entry-level piku

That one guy.
Burt.
He lives next door.

This is the proto-classic category 3 piku. It maintains the 3-1-4 structure, while lacking the nerdiness or geekyness required to attain category 1 status.

Category 1-- mid-level piku

Exegete.
Please.
Or stop talking.

This will serve as the proto-classic Category 1 piku. It maintains the 3-1-4 structure. It is nerdy or geeky enough that those outside of its realm of reference may not understand it. But it is not specifically related to the fields of science or technology.

(Spoiler--exegesis is the Latin term for drawing the meaning out of a text or passage.)

Category 4-- true piku

Dark matter.
Warm.
Gravitino.

Finally, the proto-classic Category 4 piku! 3-1-4 structure, nerdy or geeky in subject matter, AND specifically related to the fields of science or technology! Blamo!

(Spoiler-- If warm dark matter exists, and there are no such thing as sterile neutrinos, then the other possible explanation would be the hypothetical particle known as gravitino!)

Step 4: Controversy!!

Where would art or science be without some controversy? So in the name of controversy, I offer this;

Google it.
Click.
Algorithm!

3-1-4. It's a piku. But what CATEGORY?? It's about the Internet and a mathematical equation, so it's within the realm of science and technology, which would imply category 4... But it's just not that nerdy or geeky. Almost everybody knows that Google is built on an algorithm. Can something be both nerdy/geeky AND pop culture?? If it doesn't meet the nerdy/geeky test, then this piku doesn't qualify for category 1 or 4. Only category 3. But that can't be right!

Or can it??

Let the controversy begin! I only request that I be called to speak at the conventions and conferences held by all schools of thought. For a reasonable honorarium, of course :)

Step 5: Bathe the Internet in Piku!

So there it is! Piku! Pi-inspired poetry! Make it! Share it! Categorize it! Debate it! Put your pikus in the comments. Categorize the pikus of others. Have a pi-geeky blast. And hold on to your pocket protectors, people. This is gonna be huge!

Twitter hashtag #piku
(Sorry indie movie. We're taking over.)

Thanks for reading and enjoy your pi day :)