Introduction: Superfood Transformation

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( the other Food Pyramid, for the Foodies)

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This is a Tale of the Tired Trio; three folks, down in the dumps due to dreadful events life had delivered unto them.

Just earlier in the day, Malena was pulled into her drawing, literally. It was a rough charcoal sketch of a lifeless snow scene, not a soul to be seen skipping or laughing about. No snowmen were getting built, no forts being erected, no Johnnys getting white-washed or Susies making snow-devils. It was the Plague of Unsticky Snow. Driest snowfall eva. With pleading and eraser kneading we finally pulled her out, but she just wasn't herself. All grey and blurred, drastic measures would have to be taken.

Cynthia, poor Cynthia. Her curls had finally come undone and her wings were clipped. Neither were to be found anywhere. We looked in the closets, nothing but skeletons and crazy stories. We went through the Looking Glass to see if it had stolen them, and were quickly ushered out by a Mad Chicken drinking bourbon. We even searched all of the webs, but only found kittens. A drastic remedy would have to be found.

And Mr Tidwell was doing anything but well. Earlier in the week a nail from a nailgun had somehow found its way into his thigh. Ouch. And to add insult to injury, further salt was thrown into the wound when a swinging chicken stuck out her leg and tripped him, fracturing the very bone that contained the hole. A drastic intervention was necessary.

Step 1: Food Is the Answer. and Chicken Feet.

A stockpot, filled with Carrots, Celery, Chives, Dill, Fennel, Garlic, Juniper Berries. And chicken feet. Water added and put on stovetop, med/high heat, about 3 hours.

Step 2: If You Can't Take the Heat...

[insert cliche] But eat what comes out of it, to be sure.

I spy:

  • avocado
  • tomatoes
  • chives
  • hot pepper
  • lemon and lime
  • cayenne pepper
  • salt and pepper

Slice, squeeze and/or shake to combine all. Place in fridge so everyone can become best friends.

Step 3: Mixed-up Medley

It may appear that this casserole has a personality disorder. Let's evaluate:

  1. Red grapefruit/ginger/buckwheat honey
  2. Portobella/fennel wispy fronds/garlic
  3. Beets/cumin
  4. Fennel bulb/green apple/nutmeg

All drizzled with olive oil/sprinkled with Himalayan Salt

Bake @ 375 F for about 45 minutes

Step 4: Brown on White

This is a complicated relationship. I won't go into too many details as to how it all turned out, but it involved a Thai girl named Jasmine, a Deliciously Dark Chocolate stud, 2 Cinnamon girls, the Star of the late, late show, Anise, the Twins, Curry and Chili, and naturally, an Irish Farmer. There's always an Irish Farmer.

I'll let your imagination figure out the rest.

Step 5: Sweet, Sweet Salmon

Wild caught, of course. Don't settle for any of that "farmed" nonsense.

Sprinkle with turmeric, mustard and baby dill.

Top with a swath of raw/unfiltered honey.

Pour freshly squeezed orange and lemon juice over.

Drizzle with olive oil. The best kind. The California kind. We don't want no Italian Mafia adulterating our oils.

Cover and bake for 30 minutes at 375 F.

Step 6: Cook It, or Don't

When it's winter out, broiling is your next best option to grilling.

Or don that snowsuit and brave the storm, to grill that bad boy.

Break him down gently if you must, then flatter him with some condiments, even go so far as to butter him up with pats, but please, Go easy on him.

Step 7: No Meal Comes Without One

"Alex, What is... a Salad?"


This is how it is formulated:

  • a bed of spring greens
  • followed by quartered cherry tomatoes
  • slices of raw cheddar
  • kiwi
  • blueberries
  • raw pumpkin seeds
  • bee pollen
  • dried cranberries
  • black walnuts
  • garnished with an egg yolk, lemon wedge, oil, salt, for folding into the salad.

( "...What a show-off. I mean, enough's enough!" )

Step 8: The Final Spread

Oh, yeah. We're not foolin' around here.

Passion fruit served with the randy rice, which is topped with a succulent slice of beef.

Salmon so Sweet and Aromatic

Spicy guacamole, cooled down with swigs of ginger Kombucha.

A cornucopia of roasted vegetables and fruit.

A consomme to cleanse the palette between all the excitement.

And a salad with almost as much character and dignity as your local, Irish farmer.

Step 9: Drastically Different

Malena got her groove back. As an added bonus, she now has laser vision. Go figure.

Cynthia's curls are back, with a vengeance. And wings. She shed the old and sprouted new ones. Like, real ones.

Mr. Tidwell's doing handstands, mocking the chickens, entertaining the cat.

It's always about the Cat.

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