Stripper Clown Homemade Sympathy Card

Hello,

A dear, dear, dear, friend is currently going through a trying time in their life with an ill family member. I thought I would ease them through this trying time with a homemade sympathy card. But what ever does one put on a sympathy card? I pondered this for some days and finally arrived at the appropriate solution. The two most sympathetic things that I know are strippers and clowns. But what to choose? Or - rather - why choose anything at all? Simply combine them together, throw in a stripper pole and a rendering of a poodle balloon animal, and you have a card appropriate for any delicate situation.

Best yet, it is easy to make! 

1) I opened up MSPaint
2) I drew a stripper clown, poodle ballon animal, and stripper pole. I paid special attention to put them all on the ground. It is important to stay grounded.
3) I printed it on card stock paper
4) I trimmed it down to size using a paper cutter and folded it neatly in half
5) I filled it with carefully worded sympathy

I will soon present this to my dear, dear, dear, friend. Surely such a thoughtful gesture will help them keep their spirit up through it all.

Sincerely,
Miss Paint