Tell us about yourself!
Yeeeeesssss, it's this kind of minor evil at school I can appreciate. Excellent job putting work into a great malicious cause, muhahahaha! You don't even have to bend down, but your friends will have to :D
How do I become as manly as you?
If there was a way to separate the API from the online services and bring it to the local machine it could increase speed, however in this case that probably won't ever happen. I guess you can leave the machine on overnight and let it sort to maximum capacity, but for a large collection you would probably need to increase the storage size for each compartment as well as the loader's capacity. I'm very much in love with your project.