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I don't care what you call it. It is feaking gorgeous, from the choice of wood to the final execution. Well done!
Neat idea, and I enjoyed the humor.
Good job on the 'ible, as well as the project. Do you have a metal detector to find all the nails? I bought one after I ruined a planer blade working with pallets.
The thing that got me was a tiny brad or staple, not a big nail. I really did not see the thing, it was broken off at the surface. It put a big nick in one of the planer blades. Your magnet idea sounds interesting.