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I'm back!

(Technically, I never left. I just entered a long period of sluggish inactivity and ebbed creativity. To read more about me doing nothing ... err, I mean what I have been up to since the end of the summer check out my forum post.)

In celebration of my unholy resurrection I have decided to do a few things. Other than putting up that long forum post, I ditched the "In loving memory" from the giant match video because I'm no longer in your memories - I'm in your face (Oh snap!). Apart from that, I have also decided to post this Instructable on getting over barbed wire fences. What better way to emphasize my reunion with Instructables than by metaphorically and physically (and also metaphysically, check out my strong chi in step 2) breaking into their headquarters.

But enough with this pointless digression, on with the show!

Barbed wire fences are everywhere. They are used to keep people (and animals) both in and out of certain areas. Barbed wire has a long and interesting history, but instead of describing it here I will take the lazy man approach and direct you to the Wikipedia article.

Besides, I am more interested in barbed wire as a symbolic oppressive force on society than as something to keep cows in place (insert comparison between society and mindless cows here). Oppressive barbed wire is found mostly in bad neighborhoods, around prisons, and surrounding "official" off-limit government areas.

Step 1: Reasons to Get Over a Barbed Wire Fence

There are many reasons why someone would want to get over a barbed wire fence, but the only reason you need, after reading this, is BECAUSE YOU CAN!

Other popular reasons include:

Urban Exploration - the ability to get around or over a barbed wire fence is invaluable in this noble pastime.

Breaking out of prison - Minor drug offenders fill your prisons, You don't even flinch, All our taxes paying for your wars, Against the new non-rich

Breaking into prison - Throw the guards a curve ball. The look on the their faces is priceless, and definitely worth the subsequent beatings / tazerings.

Stealing Fat - more on this in the last step

Step 2: If Possible, Circumvent the Barbed Wire

You will save yourself a lot of trouble if you can avoid the barbed wire completely. Your ability to do this depends mostly on the type of situation you are in.

If you are being chased by cops, guard dogs, or her shotgun-wielding father, and time is of the essence, you will probably not be able to use the techniques described in this step. For those situations the next step will be the most helpful.

Whereas if you have time to scope out the area, plan your infiltration, or have nothing better to do while sitting in the big house, this step will be of more use to you.

-The first and easiest way to avoid barbed wire is by looking for a gap in the fence the barbed wire is attached to. The most common types of gaps would be unlocked open gates (aka the fatal flaw), bent or knocked down sections (probably the result of car accidents), or cut sections (applies almost exclusively to chain link fences).

-The second method involves mastering the use of your chi power. (Before you ask, NO, this is not about perfecting your ability to grow grass on little animal shaped ceramics. It is the much more useful and logical hobby of learning to control the powerful invisible forces that your body emits, and not the ones that smell like methane either! )

Sam Noyoun has a good Instructable on how to test and improve your psychic powers. I don't mean to brag, but I think my powers are a bit stronger then his. It would appear as though he only has a thetan level of 5 which is the level required to make pretty snowflake shaped pieces of paper move, where I have a thetan level of over 9000 which gives me the ability to unlock and open gates with my mind. (When I reach 10,000 thetan points I can trade them in for a leather Bazooka Joe jacket)

-The third method involves using tools to cut through the barbed wire or fence (whichever is easier). Many tools like hacksaws, wire cutters, or acetylene torches will do the job just fine; however, the quickest, quietest, and most efficient way is definitely a good pair of industrial strength bolt cutters. (In the picture a pair of wire crimpers stood in as a prop for the photo op)

Step 3: Climb Over It (without Using Protection)

This method is good for people who are in a rush and do not have any supplies. Because it is done without using protection the odds of getting cut and contracting fence-AIDS increase drastically.

The entire trick in getting over a barbed wire fence without protection is finding the right place to climb over it.

- The easiest place to climb over the fence would be at an uneven-height break (as shown in the video and the first two pictures). Sections of the fence like this offer the most areas for safe hand and foot holds. At an uneven-height breaks it is also much easier to maneuver your legs over the fence without getting scratched or cut.

- The next easiest place to climb over the fence is at an even-height break. An even height-break is usually accompanied by a small gap in the fence between two vertical poles. These types of breaks occur at the beginning and ending of gates, and at section or direction changes in the fence (the third photo below shows an example of an even-height break at a gate in the fence). These types of breaks are harder to get over because they require much more care in lifting yourself above the barbed wire. The even-height means that you will most likely have to rely solely on upper body strength at one point in the process. Your chance of contracting fence-AIDS is much higher.

- The hardest way to climb over a barbed wire fence (apart from just grabbing the wire between the barbs and hoisting yourself up) is at an angle bracket. Angle brackets are used to keep the strands of wire at a 45 degree angle from the fence, making it harder for people on one side of the fence to climb over. By grabbing the angle bracket in between the strands of barbs, as shown in the fourth picture below, you should be able to pull yourself over the fence without taking too much damage.

Step 4: Climb Over It (with Protection)

The best method of quickly making your way over the fence without leaving a trace of your presence is by using a barrier between yourself and the barbs. This will minimize your chances contracting fence-AIDS.

There are many materials which can be used to protect yourself from the barbs. Some of the more popular ones include thick cardboard, anything made of leather (jackets, pants, etc.), sleeping bags, carpet, and the bodies of comrades.

The following movie clip (I would name the source, but the first two rules prohibit me) shows an example of using old carpet to quickly bypass a barbed wire fence while leaving no trace of their presence.

The old carpet / rug method is perhaps one of the best ways of getting over a barbed wire fence. The weaving on the bottom of the fabric is extremely thick and does not allow the barbs to pass through, protecting the user from any harm. To be extra safe the carpet should be folded over itself at least once to ensure no barb penetration. The pictures below show the process of cutting up an old rug and using it to protect me from the barbs while I climb over the fence. The process and all the pictures are pretty self-explanatory.

There are only two interesting things to note about the pictures. The first is that I somewhat cheated by going with the angle of the barbed wire fence instead of against it. The second is that the rug/carpet will be a much sturdier climbing surface if it is placed over an angle bracket.