Introduction: How to Make a Bad Instructable - by the Duchess of Blackpool!

This Instructable covers the essentials of making a bad Instructable. It is complimentary to Eric Wilhelm's How to make a great Instructable, which I recommend you see if you have not already.

"this is my first Instructable, so plz be nice!"

And so we begin...

Step 1: The Prime Directive / General Order #1

The most important thing is to publish your Instructable with the minimum of effort

  • Never forget this.
  • Don't think about anything else.

This Instructable will help you keep to the prime directive.

  • Nobody reads Terms of Service, so you can save save yourself some time instantly by ignoring the full TOS and the Human-readable TOS
  • Your motivation is "to make an Instructable", you don't need any more motivation than this. If you've been motivated by a competition that's just fine, remember that you only have to enter an Instructable to be in with a chance of winning.

Step 2: Subject Matter

Subject matter doesn't matter

  • As long as you're putting some words and pictures in the boxes you're doing OK. You don't need a good idea, just pick anything like "How to take the trash out", "How to open a soda", "How to destroy your homework", "How to eat Cheesy-Poofs" or "How to use a toilet"
  • If you are stuck for ideas remember the prime directive and don't waste time thinking.

You can always copy something.

  • Find another website with cool stuff on it and copy it. Just drag your mouse over the words then CTRL-C it. If you're lucky there will be some pictures to right-click & save as. wikiHow is a great source of Instructables material. Instructables members never go there (because there aren't enough pictures or discussions) so no one will know that you did.
  • Alternatively, you can search for something awesome in Instructables. You can do the same things that have been done before, but you shouldn't copy Instructables totally because people might notice and complain at you.

Step 3: A Few Notes on Language

somepeople say that speillin and grammer is important and they critiscise you if yopu dont.

thez wrong

dont waste time with pressing shif to capitalize and don't waste time with period spell check are just annoing

everybody kno what "u" and "ur" meen

peopl who complain are pedants and teechers

Step 4: Adding Images and Files

Unfortunately you do need to add images. If you don't the Robot will tell you that you need to add them.

Photographs

  • Use a web-cam or anything you've got, but don't spend too much time with your camera. Remember the prime directive, what's the point in wasting time photographing the same thing more than once? You are telling people how to do it after all! As long as you've got a picture upload the image and move on. Anyone who tells you to "use the macro function" or says that your images are out of focus either needs glasses or is just being mean for the sake of it (phooey on them!)
  • If you did take a lot of photographs don't waste time choosing between them, just upload all of them; it's quicker.

Digital Images

  • Save time by copying images that someone else wasted their time on. Go to Google Images and type a word, then press the search button. It will give you ready-made pictures! Don't bother looking at these for too long just grab one, right-click and save as.

Drawings

  • Your easiest way to draw pictures is to use Microsoft's Paint program. It has some really easy to use tools and nice bright colours. And it comes free with Microsoft Windows!

Step 5: Popularizing Your Instructable

Once you've finished adding words and pictures, it is time to think about popularizing it. This means making it look cool and getting great ratings, here are some tips:

  • USE CAPITALS TO EMPHASIZE EXCITING PARTS !Use exclamations! You noticed that I popped a few in earlier didn't you? FOR MAXIMUM IMPACT USE BOTH!!! AND LOTS OF THEM!!!!!!
  • Use exciting words in the title, tags and the main steps. These are all cool words:

Ultimate, awesome, cool, bomb, super, supercharged, exploding, ultra-, uber-, -of death, -of fire

  • Don't forget that you can use CAPITALS and !'s with these cool-words!
  • Please spare a thought for the K'NEX community. You could be forgiven for thinking that they are only interested in K'NEX, but this is far from the truth. Ensure that "K'NEX-ers" don't miss your Instructable by including "KNEX" as one of your tags.
  • If you have any brightly colored, funny or animated images do scatter these around your instructable to enhance the visual impact. And never forget that everyone loves cute fluffy animals, so pictures of cute fluffy animals with funny captions are a guarranted winner.
  • A really simple way to make your Instructable popular is to get other people to rate it. Because some people forget, make sure you remind them as I remind you at the bottom of the last step. And don't be modest, remind people to rate you to the max!
  • For extra publicity post a Forum Topic announcing that you've made the Instructable, but be sure and include a link and remind people again to rate it.

Step 6: The Last Word

Some pedants and nit-pickers will post comments complaining about your instructable. You can easily defend your first one by making it clear that it is like I have in the introduction. If one of these nigglers does insult you just remind them that it's your first Instructable and they will apologize. By the time you've made another one you'll have learned to deal with these dudes.

SO C'MON WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!!!

Hope you enjoyed this Instructable: don't forget to rate it 5 stars!

Live Long and Prosper