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Wanna 3 month pro membership? CLOSED Answered

3 month membership, it's up for grabs. 

Give me a reason, come on! 

It needn't be honest, it needn't be logical, it needn't be fair but it better be funny... 

Also if anyone can nominate someone else deserving of one I might give another away.

*insert random photo from January challenge*

EDIT CLOSED

Comments

The forums are retiring in 2021 and are now closed for new topics and comments.
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caitlinsdad
caitlinsdad

Reply 10 years ago

cause if you can't read, you had better be good at fightin'...

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killerjackalope
killerjackalope

Reply 10 years ago

Boy I say boy! Them's fightin' words

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caitlinsdad
caitlinsdad

Reply 10 years ago

No habla.

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dombeef
dombeef

10 years ago

Because you are awesome !?!

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Lithium Rain
Lithium Rain

10 years ago

(This isn't for me, it's for another member)

Well.

Yesterday, I ran out of oatmeal cookies. You may not be aware of this, but oatmeal cookies are the seventh food group (yes, it's true). I went into cookie withdrawal almost immediately - cold sweats, the shakes, passing out. I devoured an entire jaw of raw oatmeal, but just couldn't get the same high off it. I found myself on the streets, offering excruciatingly correct grammar lessons to sympathetic passers-by in exchange for anything that remotely seemed like a cookie - muffin, pastry, donut. Sometimes, nobody would share their sugar - all I could get was trail mix and slightly soggy cheerios (that one was from a toddler, it broke my heart how sweet she was when she came up to me and handed me the little handful...) At my lowest, I'm ashamed to say, I even ate banana chips. I was a mess. I'm just lucky some incredibly kind and selfless people found me, took me home, cleaned me up, and let me crash at their place until I got back on my feet. It has taken me the better part of a year, but I'm finally on the road to recovery.

So in conclusion I've been through a severely trying experience that very nearly cost me my life, sanity, and pants, and having a 3 month pro membership would be a very real comfort in this cold, dark world.

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Lithium Rain
Lithium Rain

Reply 10 years ago

Happyjo. :D Thanks a bunch!

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killerjackalope
killerjackalope

Reply 10 years ago

I sent it yesterday - no reply so far but done...

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Lithium Rain
Lithium Rain

Reply 10 years ago

(I was wondering, lol) Awesomesauce! Thanks again. :D

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The Ideanator
The Ideanator

Reply 10 years ago

This is ROFLMAOtastic.

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DJ Radio
DJ Radio

10 years ago

I need a pro membership because otherwise I always accidentally click the ads, and I'm afraid if I do it too many times this site might get accused of click fraud.

(lol not really but I tried)

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unclex6
unclex6

10 years ago

I LIKE MTNDEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OO YA

={) MAN WITH A MUSTACHE!!!!!!!!!!!

DID YOU SEE ALL CAPS!!!!

LIVING LIFE LOUD!!!!!!!!

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happyjo
happyjo

10 years ago

Well, I come from and extremely poor family.If I am lucky once a day I will get a meal of 3 saltines and a small glass of prune juice. That is if I can escape the dirty strangling hands of my four siblings as they take advantage of me and my food. Did I also mention that when I lost a hand a while ago in a terrible accident involving a drunk man and chainsaw? I have to stop typing now because I am being pushed of the ratty chair for the library computer. I need the pro membership! I really do!

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Goodhart
Goodhart

Reply 10 years ago

...and, and it will help you figure out a cheap, home made method to trap the rats right? :-)

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happyjo
happyjo

Reply 10 years ago

Of course! then I can let them dry out and I will have my own rat jerky

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Goodhart
Goodhart

Reply 10 years ago

Don't forget the Tabasco sauce ! ;-)

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happyjo
happyjo

Reply 10 years ago

Yes! I did find a half-empty bottle of that at the library.

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The Ideanator
The Ideanator

10 years ago

'Cause I'm incredibly awesome, that's why.

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caitlinsdad
caitlinsdad

Reply 10 years ago

You may be incredibly awesome, but I am awesomer, haha. killerjackalope is the awesomest.

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The Ideanator
The Ideanator

Reply 10 years ago

That is an incredible work of fiction you've written there, dear sir. Well, the bit where you claim to be awesomer, the rest is the total truth.